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The Mountain Bike Haven Jackalope


The jackalope is an antlered species of rabbit, unfortunately rumored to be extinct, though occasional sightings of this rare creature continue to occur, suggesting that pockets of jackalope populations continue to persist in its native home, in Upstate New York.

The jackalope is an aggressive species, willing to use its antlers to fight. Thus, it is also sometimes called the "Bobby Jabbit."

Jackalopes possess an uncanny ability to mimic human sounds. At Thatcher Park, when Murph and the boys gather at Paint Mine to drink Sammys, jackalopes would frequently be heard singing, mimicking the voices of the boys. Jackalopes become especially vocal before thunderstorms, perhaps because they mate only when lightning flashes (or so it is theorized).

When chased, the jackalope will use its vocal abilities to elude capture. For instance, when chased by people it will call out phrases such as, "There he goes, over there," in order to throw Curt off his track. Most recently jackalopes have been heard at Thatcher Park whispering "Pssst, hey you, crazy eyes I know where the keys are." The best way to catch a jackalope is to lure it with Sam Adams, as they have a particular fondness for this drink. Once intoxicated, the animal becomes slower and easier to hunt.

Jackalope milk is particularly sought after because it is believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac (for which reason, we keep Rick away from the teet). However, it can be incredibly dangerous to milk a jackalope, and any attempt to do so is not advised. A peculiar feature of the milk is that it comes from the animal already homogenized on account of the creature's powerful leaps.

Albany, New York has declared itself to be the Jackalope capital of America because, according to legend, the first jackalope was spotted there around 1829. A statue of a jackalope head mounts in Mountain Bike Haven, and every year the haven plays host to Jackalope Day, usually held in June. Jackalope hunting licenses can be obtained from Mountain Bike Haven, though hunting of jackalopes is restricted to the hours of midnight to 2 a.m. on June 31.

The jakalope is now most commonly sited in Palenville, Lenox, MA, and Thatcher Park. However, the jakalope does appear to have an Irish cousin, which in Ireland is called the Murphalope.