The Mountain Bike Haven Jackalope
The jackalope is an antlered species of rabbit, unfortunately rumored to be
extinct, though occasional sightings of this rare creature continue to occur,
suggesting that pockets of jackalope populations continue to persist in its
native home, in Upstate New York.
The jackalope is an aggressive species, willing to use its antlers to fight.
Thus, it is also sometimes called the "Bobby Jabbit."
Jackalopes possess an uncanny ability to mimic human sounds. At Thatcher
Park, when Murph and the boys gather at Paint Mine to drink Sammys,
jackalopes would frequently be heard singing, mimicking the voices of the
boys. Jackalopes become especially vocal before thunderstorms, perhaps
because they mate only when lightning flashes (or so it is theorized).
When chased, the jackalope will use its vocal abilities to elude capture. For
instance, when chased by people it will call out phrases such as, "There
he goes, over there," in order to throw Curt off his track. Most recently
jackalopes have been heard at Thatcher Park whispering "Pssst, hey you,
crazy eyes I know where the keys are." The best way to catch a jackalope
is to lure it with Sam Adams, as they have a particular fondness for this drink.
Once intoxicated, the animal becomes slower and easier to hunt.
Jackalope milk is particularly sought after because it is believed to be a
powerful aphrodisiac (for which reason, we keep Rick away from the teet).
However, it can be incredibly dangerous to milk a jackalope, and any attempt
to do so is not advised. A peculiar feature of the milk is that it comes from
the animal already homogenized on account of the creature's powerful leaps.
Albany, New York has declared itself to be the Jackalope capital of America
because, according to legend, the first jackalope was spotted there around
1829. A statue of a jackalope head mounts in Mountain Bike Haven, and every
year the haven plays host to Jackalope Day, usually held in June. Jackalope
hunting licenses can be obtained from Mountain Bike Haven, though hunting of
jackalopes is restricted to the hours of midnight to 2 a.m. on June 31.
The jakalope is now most commonly sited in Palenville, Lenox, MA, and
Thatcher Park. However, the jakalope does appear to have an Irish cousin,
which in Ireland is called the Murphalope.